20 THINGS EVERY TOURIST SHOULD KNOW

Thais are very tolerant people, but visitors still do plenty to annoy their hosts, their hosts, something that can be avoided with a bit of insight.

On one hand, it’s amazing that most Thais remain extremely patient in this cynical world. On the other hand, it seems some foreigners have yet to grasp the rules of life as a tourist here. Their view of reality is surprisingly weak, and some can’t seem to accept the prevailing culture. Trying to force the locals to adjust to their foreign ways, even unknowingly, only makes the visitor look foolish.

Thanks to some foreigner’s inability, or refusal, to at least read up on Thailand before hopping a flight to Bangkok, they continue to receive those stares of amusement and anger, and might get ripped off in the process. I’d like to shake their hands and then kick their behinds! It’s bad enough they don’t know what is unacceptable here. It’s even worse when they don’t do something about it.

Here are 20 things a tourist or aspiring expatriate should bear in mind to avoid misunderstandings and embarrassment. In other words, this is what annoys Thais.

1. Thais deem it proper and respectful to greet each other, particularity those who are older or have higher status, with a wai, wherein the hands are brought together to the chest as if praying, and the head is bowed. Embracing, raising your eyebrows or bussing each other are considered boorich.

2. In Buddhism, the head is the most sacred part of the body, while the feet are the least, since they trample the ground. Don’t make the mistake of touching a Thai’s head, even if he is your friend. Likewise, don’t gesture with your feet or rest them on furniture. These acts are regarded as extremely insulting and may lead to trouble.

3. Just because you are a football fan, and the UEFA championship is being shown live, don’t think this give you the right to grab the remote and change channels while others are watching something else. Ask for their permission.

4. Thais may be the most forgiving people on earth. Few drives honk their horns, no one complains about long queues and rarely will a Thai show anger in public. So, never raise your voice or lose your temper, which is associated with weakness. It won’t help and you may lose face. Just smile and say, mai pen rai” (never mind)

5. Learn a few useful words and phrases in Thai: your efforts will be appreciated. When in Thailand, stop acting imperiously as if your country’s language is spoken and understood by the rest of the world. If you persist, you won’t get anywhere. Try to string a few Thai words together. It shows you are at least trying.

6. While Thais are used to weaving motorcycles, they don’t like it when taxis make sudden stops to pick up passengers, particularly foreigners. When hailing one, make sure you are at a bus stop. Otherwise, you could be subjected to a stream of curses. Fortunately, you won’t know what they mean!

7. Remove your shoes with your hands when entering a house, temple or religious shrine, where revealing attire is also taboo. Refrain from misbehaving or making noise in religious places. As every Buddha image is revered, whatever its size, never deface or climb on one.

8. When eating, use your right hand to pick up food, pass plates and handle utensils. The left hand is considered unclean and should not be used for such purposes or to receive a gift.

9. Don’t start conversations with Thais with, “In our country, we…” Hey, they do it differently here, whether it’s right or ridiculous, wrong or weird. Forget about making comparisons.

10. Holding hands is not fine in fine in public, and if you’ve got other things on your mind let them stay there. Thais frown on couples kissing, cuddling and cooing in public. You are supposed to be demure.

11. I recall watching an Austin Powers movie and laughing my heat out at some real slapstick, mainly because of the jokes that I first heard as a teenager in the ‘70s. But then I noticed many Thais looking at me. That’s when it hit; they didn’t get it. You can either try to explain or choose another video.

12. Don’t be rude with the police, immigration officials and civil servants or you won’t get anywhere. While this is a tourist-friendly country, and everyone goes out of their way to make your stay pleasant, Thais like to take their time.

13. When in a restaurant with a Thai, don’t be surprised if they get served first. In fact, they expect priority treatment in their country, in spite of millions of tourists. If the waiter can’t get your order right, don’t bang the table. Hire a translator instead.

14. When visiting the country with your children, make sure they know how to wai properly to the elderly and persons of high authority. Respect is paramount in Asian societies.

15. Keep the volume down when talking, or when you have the microphone in a karaoke joint and your version of Sinatra’s “My Way” is a bit off key.

16. Persistence won’t pay off. Look, when girl says no, she means it, even here in Thailand. While you may be a Westerner staying in a fancy hotel, and ready to splurge on that long-planned holiday, don’t think you can bed anyone you wish.

17. In Bangkok, traffic can be loosely classified as horrendous, monstrous or diabolical. But whatever the situation, don’t ever use it as an excuse to arrive late for an appointment. Assume the bottom line; it’s always bad.

18. With the onset of globalization, many Thais are trying to learn English, and some are on to lookout to practice it with foreigners. If a Thai tries to answer you in semi-understandable English, just smile and don’t express bewilderment.

19. If you really don’t know the answer to a question asked by a Thai, say so. It is considered impolite to shrug your shoulders, which could indicate you think the question is irrelevant, or that the person asking is unimportant.

20. Finally, don’t engage in criticism. If there is one thing even the prime minister gets upset at, it’s criticism. Remember, when resolving conflicts, it’s always better to forge a compromise than to foment a confrontation.

When entering a religious place….

The Thais take their religious very seriously. They don’t expect foreign guests to worship their gods, but they expect a modicum of respect for their religious places.

A few things to observe when entering a temple:

• Dress properly. Don’t go into a temple shirtless or in immodest attire.
• Don’t wear shoes inside any temple.
• It is taboo for Buddhist monks to touch or be touched by a woman.
• All Buddha images, large or small, ruined or not are regarded as sacred objects. Don’t do anything that show lack of respect such as climbing or resting the feet on them.